Welcome to Author Wednesday. I’m very excited to host a new, but solid friend and author, Alana Agerbo. When I started this blog last year, Alana was one of my first followers and one of the first to comment on my posts. I remember how excited I was when she posted one of my blogs to Facebook. I began following her blog, Hazy Shades of Me, and discovered a writer with extraordinary talent and a woman modest about her craft. I also made a friend, even though we’ve never met in person. To me, she will always be “Hazy” in name, but clear and poetic in her prose. I present to you with great pride and joy, my friend and author, Alana Agerbo AKA Hazy.
I Can Be Silver
By Alana “Hazy” Agerbo
I am gray.
Dappled Gray. I’m unconcerned whether we see a drama or a comedy, have pasta or potatoes, drink red or white. Not for indifference, but because I consider it food for creativity and know I will well digest whatever we end up with. When you choose, my status quo is removed. You can run the show, should you so desire. Shrouded in many shades of black and white. I am gray.
I am medium.
In recent years, I’ve realized it’s OK to be a jack-of-all-trades, master of none. This has stopped me in the past from following dreams and admitting goals. When a medium is supposed, a want for large is tough to declare. Resentment for succumbing to this weakness is fruitless. Instead, I trust in time and place. My number has now been called, and I’m answering in slow, stuttering spurts. I am medium.
I am guilty.
A mother of three who works freelance, not in writing, but in make-up, I am responsible for tucking my passion between freshly laundered piles of clothes or at the bottom of my brushes and creams. I have let others’ feelings sway me. I have spent years telling myself it wasn’t meant to be, my own discourager and dissuader. I am guilty.
I am stubborn.
Now forty-two, I admit I am seeking to nab a spot on your local bookshelf. I want to be published. There, I said it. It’s taken me this long to stop writing in the backs of lost journals or pages torn from old coloring books and begin writing for all to see, or in reality, whomever grants a visit to my heart blog. I am stubborn.
I am selfish.
I want. I need. I love. I write. I sit down blank, empty, and somehow, it comes. Tentatively, I’m getting to know my muse; a trigger from the day before . . . a conversation, an event . . . maybe a memory from long ago, sometimes an emotion from something, somewhere. Other times simply a word or an outcome my imagination has altered, realities morphed into metaphors. Whatever it is, it feeds me, and I set the table, an eager, welcoming host.
Delaying chores, responsibilities and obligations, I write. In my defense, I sincerely believe it will be but an hour. Most always, it is more than a few. I am selfish.
I will be silver.
I have found, that with any luck, elbow grease, and a little polish, I begin to sport spots of shine. As with most things, purpose, persistence, and practice prosper and with nourishment, they grow. I’ve grazed on knowledge with which only the tenacious and committed are blessed. Gray is a version of silver. I will be silver.
Alana Agerbo writes out of Vancouver, Canada. She began her blog in March 2012 in an attempt to pin the words skittering through her mind, and it has inspired her to write on an almost daily basis. She does have a dusty old manuscript lying in drawer, complete with more than a few letters of rejection, but is hopeful to see her work on a shelf one day, not a speck of dust to be found. Alana has had some works published on Ezine.com.